Saturday, March 15, 2008
End of Another Road...
Well, for any of you who have followed long enough to know that we started the process to adopt a sibling group through our state's foster system you know that we planned on having two more children within the year. All that changed today. At our training today I started to get that wringing tight feeling in my "gut". I was starting to feel that maybe this wasn't the road for us after all. How could that be? I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had led us to this path. I heard the statistic that 90% of these children in the foster care system are se*xually abused. That really put a reality check right in front of my face. I guess I was just hoping that the kids we got were "just" neglected. I didn't bank on them being so screwed up that they would need endless counseling and therapy and could possibly even act out on PandaGirl. That really did it. Our precious little one already has a past that will need more attention than a typical biological child in a family. She needs us to be there for her. I don't want to take away from her to tend to the enormous needs of an abused sibling group. I cried all afternoon, talked to friends and family and know we made the right decision. That doesn't stop the grieving process that I am going through. I so desperately want more children, but apparently that isn't God's plan. At least not for now. I will never be pregnant. Nothing can change that. If you have biological children then you can't even imagine my shoes. That's not a slam on you who have bio kids, but it is the truth that my pain right now can't be understood accept by others who also can't have children naturally and find it hard to expand their family. That's just about all I want to say right now. My eyes are tired and I just want to go be held by PandaPop. PandaGirl and I already had our snuggle time. Thanks in advance for all the sweet words you will undoubtedly say. You are great bloggy friends. ; )
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21 comments:
Let's chat, when you're feeling up to it! I have some stuff I can share with you.
Email me - christinemoers at hotmail dot com
Although I can't truly understand your pain, my heart aches when a friend is in pain. May God hold you close and comfort you as only the Father can do. I know you will continue to seek His will in your life and I pray that He will help you find peace in whatever direction He leads.
I am so sorry to hear of the pain you are feeling. My heart hurts for you and PP. I wish I could say just the "right" words to comfort you. I know you will find the comfort you need in our wonderful Father! Love you Guys!!
I am so, so sorry. Please know that I am praying for you...
Jennifer R.
I am so sorry for your pain right now. Hold your family close. They will bring you great comfort. Our personal story is a little different since we have a bio child... one that we were told would never be. (Our 1st miracle.) but I can tell you that through our greatest struggles and pain have come our greatest joys and rewards. I hope you get through this struggle quickly. You are in my prayers.
I'm just going to let God's Word speak to your heart in a way that no words I could type ever could ~
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Oh, you poor girl! Life just isn't fair sometimes. I am so glad that you found out what you don't want (like this most recent road showed you) rather than get into a situation that could be really damaging to the sweet family that you have already. I know God has that Little Somebody out there waiting for you guys.
I am so sorry. It makes me so sad to think that such lovely parents, who want so much to open up their home to a child in need, cannot do so. Please know that I am praying for you.
(((HUG))) I am so sorry for what you are going through. Matthew and I have been following you and were thinking about following your lead into foster-to-adopt some day. Your experience has given us somthing to think about. Matthew & I will continue to pray for you and PandaPop.
I am so sorry for you. I can't imagine the pain, but I will keep you in my prayers.
PandaFamily, I'm praying for you! It was not an easy decision, but God, along with family & friends, will heal your heart. God has a plan, a good plan, a plan only he can see. A plan you need & want. God is Good. Hugs!
Oh, Hunny Bun!! Just know I am hugging you from here.
Hello! It's so nice to "meet" you. Like you, I can't believe our paths haven't crossed before in blogland. We DO have a lot of the same blogging buddies! :)
I can relate to this post. I just had a hysterectomy so will never be able to have bio children either. I too, will be praying for you. I can tell you're a strong Christian woman. God is with you!
Hugs to you, PP and PG! I know God will reveal His perfect plan!
You are right, I can not know the pain you must be feeling, but I can offer you my support and prayers...I know God has a very wonderful plan for you guys...sometimes the road is bumpy and unsure, but he is sovereign and in control of all things. That is comforting, isn't it?
I will be praying...
So sorry you are going through this. I know you will find your way. I am sorry you are hurting and I know the pain of wanting to add to our family and finding it difficult. Hang in there!
I am just checking in after a very busy weekend and I am sad to read this post. I applaud you for being brave and following your gut--even though it hurts. You have to do what's right for your family.
I know you and PP will be praying earnestly about what road to travel down next and listening very closely for God's answer/direction.
I will pray for that answer to come quickly and for your peace and comfort each and every day.
Blessings,
Lisa
prayers for you and your family
Hugs (u), tears 000 and prayers () ...from me for you.
Every morning before your toes touch the floor---whisper---
"I am Blest. I am a Blessing" and Thank HIM for both.
This simple little prayer works because it is like Him...it is the Truth.
It helps us remember what counts most (we are HIS creation and loved).
And it will help us carry our crosses of life===because HE is THEE Cross lifter for us. On this Holiest week of the year in honor of His suffering--because of Him, your own cross will become lighter...for truly...'you are blest and you are a blessing' because of Him!!!!
(yes, all this you know...but when we lay prostrate in pain, it is sometimes very, very hard to lift our head..... much less our cross---so HE will...and HE does.
No one truly knows your pain...but you and Him...but our love, hearts and prayers are with you.
from one who's been there many times, all my love.
hang in there....God will make it clear to you....in the mean time just know that I am praying for you and your family...
Hugs...
Steffie
You have been in my thoughts sooo much lately - I was wondering what was going on with this. I am very much in the same boat...wanting to expand my family, but not knowing how.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you. Deal?
Love you!
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